Today I have one hilarious gal on the blog that I know you all are going to love. Richelle from Adventures Around Asia is a fellow west coast gal living the expat life in China. From sharing beautiful off the beaten path places to visit in China to hilarious stories about her experience with culture shock (seriously read this post it is hilarious!) Richelle is a must read expat blog!
Enjoy this hilarious story from Richelle and then head over to her blog for more!
———–
I’ve never been one of those people that can lay out on the beach for days at a time. I get really bored, and I need to do something; snorkeling, diving, hiking, exploring the town: anything other than just laying there. After two days of relaxing on the beach in Hainan, the “Hawaii of China”, I was getting restless. Plus, my pasty white skin was super sunburnt, so I wasn’t really keen on laying out in the sun for a third day in a row.
Beach days are fun… for about two days
Thankfully, two of my guy friends felt the same way, so we left the girls at the beach and went to explore the town. While wandering, the group of us stumbled on an advertisement for the “Hash Harriers Jungle Walk and Run”. Curious, we read that the day would include an 8k walk/run through the jungle of central Hainan, concluding with a giant dinner and unlimited beer.
From the photos, the event looked really fun, with a mixture of foreigners and locals. Plus, the advertisement was in English outside a bar that looked like it was run by expats. Who wouldn’t want to see the jungles of China? Besides, unlimited beer! SOLD.
this is what happens when you can’t find sunscreen in China
The only problem? I was wearing a dress.
“Whatever”, I thought. “I can just walk and take photos. Besides, an 8k isn’t that long is it?”
I’m an American. Don’t expect me to think in kilometers.
So regardless of my dress, cross body purse and sandals, the three of us signed up for the Hash Harriers Jungle Walk/Run. With about ten minutes to go, we hopped on the bus and waited for the rest of our group.
Slowly but surely the bus filled with Chinese locals… in full-on marathon running gear.
Why is everyone in running clothes?!!
As the bus filled with people I began to realize that my friends and I had unwittingly signed up for a Chinese running club activity.
We were spectacles. Two huge white men over six feet tall and a girl in a dress. Awesome. I always know how to make friends in China.
Of course, everyone thought my outfit was ridiculous. Thankfully, I was gifted an oversized t-shirt from one of the other runners. It was a fabulous design, with a scull made of beer bottles and the phrase “Let’s Get Wasted with the Head Hunters” prominently displayed.
Thankfully I wasn’t the only one who missed the memo
After a few minutes of stretching we were off through the jungle. We spent the entire afternoon running past terrace farms, villages and buffalo. Basically, every single person we ran past pointed and laughed at me huffing and puffing in my dress. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s entertaining Chinese people with my ridiculousness. Maybe I can put that on a resume.
After a solid five hours of running (at least it felt like five hours), I finally arrived at the finish line! Immediately, I was handed a large beer and a hunk of watermelon, because… who needs water, right?
They look nice, but really they’re just laughing at me.
Surprisingly enough, I wasn’t the last one back, and after we had all returned, the Hash Harriers leaders grabbed my friends and I for a little “initiation”. They made us sit on bags of ice, while we were told a joke about pregnant women. Since our Chinese was pretty basic at the time, none of us knew the word “pregnant” in Chinese. Rather than abandoning the joke, the man started pantomiming a pregnant woman’s belly while saying the word over and over again.
Eventually we got it… I think.
“In France if a pregnant woman enters the subway, people will stand up so that she can sit down. In China, if a pregnant woman goes on the subway, the subways are so crowded that the baby will be squeezed right out!!”
I’m SO CONFUSED.
Once we roughly understood the very anticlimactic joke, we were forced to chug a cup of beer before we were allowed to get up off the bags of ice. My butt was numb for a solid twenty minutes.
A few beers later, everyone was a bit tipsy and having a great time. They all wanted to know why we were in Hanian, what it was like to live in China as an expat, and what we thought about Chinese culture. Everyone wanted to take selfies with us, and get us drunk with toast after toast.
The man who lent me his epic shirt even refused to take it back! To this day, that shirt is one of my favorite souvenirs from my last 2.5 years in China.
Best souvenir ever.
On the bus ride home, the three of us were urged to sing Christmas carols… even though it was April. We started singing some Jingle Bells and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, while all of our Chinese companions attempted to sing along in gibberish.
Finally, one man announced that everyone on the bus knew a song in English. “Really??” we wanted to know. The whole bus was doubled over in laughter, near tears. My friends and I urged them to sing it for us.
On the count of three they began:
“Happy Birthday, F*** YOU!”
“Happy Birthday, F*** YOU!”
“Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, F*** YOU!!!!”
Well… I definitely wasn’t expecting that one.
I will never ever forget this day.
When we finally arrived home late in the evening, I couldn’t wipe a smile off my face. Sure, I hate running. I was sunburnt, my feet were filthy and I was covered in a million mosquito bites. Running an 8k in the jungle while wearing a dress should’ve been a disaster. But to be honest, I had the time of my life!
It’s incredible how a little bit of humor can really turn a bad situation around. Everyone thought it was hilarious that I was running in a dress, so I just went with it. I ended up having an incredible evening, and I made a lot of new friends.
When you’re traveling, it’s important to be spontaneous and try crazy things you wouldn’t do back home. Running this ridiculous 8k is my favorite memory of the entire trip, and I HATE running! Also, I now have a beautiful souvenir t-shirt that I can cherish forever.
Thanks Hash Harriers for making my life just a little more entertaining.
Question of the Day?
What is the most random situation you have been while abroad?