It is no secret that learning Icelandic has been quite the challenge for me. There are days when my inner Icelander comes alive and I am just all about Icelandic. And then there are other days where just hearing someone speak Icelandic makes me want to cry. These are normal feelings in language learning right?
After spending the past several months basically not studying Icelandic at all I have finally decided to get serious again and signed up for a class this winter. I am still waiting to hear back from the teacher if wine is allowed in class, I feel like my argument for how it will help my Icelandic was pretty strong so I am hoping for a yes.
Anyways, so ya, another Icelandic class is about to happen in my life, but even though I can’t speak much Icelandic I am quite proud of myself for how much I understand. Now a days I often find myself listening to Icelandic conversations and following along with most of it, and even butting in with my stories on the topic I assuming they are talking about. Sometimes I am spot on and have translated it correctly, others, well I am a tad off.
That is right, the awkward American in Iceland is back! Welcome to another round of Kaelene attempts to speak Icelandic: The Blooper Reel.
The UPS Incident
A few weeks ago I was at work when my phone rang with an unknown number. FYI when my phone rings and I don’t know the number I never answer. But, I was waiting for a delivery from UPS so I figured I better answer in case it was them. My guess was right and I was greeted by a very grumpy Icelandic UPS delivery man.
My first question, “is English okay?” Which I asked very politely in Icelandic, so I felt like I would earn points for that. UPS man’s answer, “Nei”. Translation= NO
Okay…
So the conversation continued in Icelandic, during which I patted myself on the back and said you got this girl. And you know what I did, I totally talked to the UPS man all in Icelandic answering his questions like I knew what I was doing. No I was not at home, yes I was expecting mail, yes I live at such and such address. I was doing awesome you guys!
And then the end of the conversation came when the UPS man told me he could leave my package at the house. I said yes that sounds great, his response, “okay great I threw it at the door.” And then he hung up.
Wait, what!? Did he say he threw it at the door?!
Just when I thought the conversation was so close to being a success, we have a fail in the end.
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(Note: H and I watched this GIF over and over, we couldn’t stop laughing. I really need a dog, they are constant entertainment!)
I spent the next few hours at work thinking that for sure my package that had my new watch inside was in pieces outside my door. Finally my work day ended and I rushed home to solve the mystery of what the UPS man did with my package.
And there it was, not sitting outside of my door, no, but safely sitting inside my mailbox all in one piece. After telling H the story, and asking him to repeat what I thought the UPS man said vs what he actually said I clearly realized, yup the UPS man told me he put it in the mailbox by the door. And what I thought he said was no where close to similar sounding.
Potato, potahto, whatvs, some days Icelandic all sounds the same to me. I blame the mean UPS guy for not speaking English with me, I was clearly to flustered to understand Icelandic.
The Broken Windshield Incident
Over the summer while H and I were in Oregon H’s brother was using our car. One day I got a Snapchat video from H’s brother that was a video of traffic seen through the windshield of our car. In the video his brother had circled what I thought was a spot on our windshield and wrote a message. When I received this I was sitting with my mom and quickly translated it myself. My translation, “crack in the windshield.”
What! When did a crack in our windshield happen!
I quickly called for H to come into the room to see if my translation of the message was correct. As H read the message a big smile came across his face and he said, “nope nothing is wrong with the windshield.”
Now both my mom and I were curious, what did the message say??? H clearly didn’t want to read the translation in front of us, but finally he told us what the message said.
“Umm he circled a car and said that the guy was getting lucky. “
Okay that is not exactly what H told us but use your imagination as to what that could mean.
So, my translation was a tad off, and my mom thinks I should really study my Icelandic more, but you know at least our windshield didn’t have a crack in it!
The Napkin Incident
Last year I was on the committee responsible for planning our company’s annual ball at the Blue Lagoon. One day we went to the restaurant to sample the menu for the party. I was the only non-Icelandic speaking person in the group so I told the cater it was fine if they spoke only in Icelandic, I hate having a group of people switch languages just for me.
So everything was going along just fine, I was following the conversation (at least some of it, I have a great vocabulary when it comes to food terms) and then the waiter came around.
On each of our plates we had a big napkin folded into a swan or something. I had yet to put it on my lap as the drinks were just being served, and I am usually responsible enough not to spill my drink on myself, usually. So when the waiter stopped and asked me if I wanted to sample the wine, and I politely responded no in Icelandic, I thought things were going just fine, well minus the fact that I said no to wine, who does that.
The waiter didn’t move away from me though after my response, instead he asked me the same question again. This time I listened a bit more closely, I wasn’t as confident in what I thought I heard, but again replied no to the drink. For a third time the waiter repeated himself, and me not wanting to switch to English or ask for help said no again.
And then the waiter took the napkin off my plate and put it on my lap. Apparently he had bread to put on our plates as well and he was just waiting for me to move my napkin, which I kept refusing.
I think he figured out I didn’t understand Icelandic after the first no, he just was messing with me. And I spent the rest of the meal hoping no one noticed that conversation. Embarrassing!
The Smile and Nod Incident
This is not a one time thing, more like a daily thing in my life. So I am trying to learn Icelandic, which means a lot of people I meet speak Icelandic to me to help me out. My level of comprehension of Icelandic literally seems to change hourly, sometimes I understand everything, other times I understand nothing.
On those days when I just don’t get it I have mastered the smile and nod to the point that those talking to me, they are convinced that I am following along.That is until they ask me a question.
I don’t even want to think of how many times this has happened to me. Someone is talking to me, I am doing the smile and nod thing, and then they ask me a question, and just stop talking and look at me awaiting my answer… I just stand there making some kind of face that I hope looks like I am thinking of what to say next.
One time comes to mind when this happened, and I was actually following the conversation for a bit answering questions, until I just stopped understanding and went with the smile and nod plan. When they stopped to ask me a question I was to embarrassed to own up and be like “you lost me five minutes ago” so I implemented a new strategy, the smile and walk away.
If anyone ever questions me on this new method I am just going to smile and say, “oh I thought the conversation was over, sorry I must of misheard you.” Perfect plan right? I really hope this next Icelandic class goes well.
If I never successfully learn Icelandic at least I will have an endless supply of stories to share. And on the days were I feel like a big fail, well I like to comfort myself with the fact that Icelandic is one of the most difficult languages in the world to learn, which in my mind basically means I am a rockstar for trying.
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Fake it tell you make, or tell I learn more Icelandic.
Question of the Day?
Have you ever mistranslated something totally wrong?
