10 Tips For New Expats

Adjusting to expat life has been an adventure in itself and while I am no expert I am full of tips that I am constantly giving to those newly arrived in Iceland that I meet at my work and GGI. These tips are all things I have tried or experienced and wished I would have known before I moved to Iceland. I hope they help all you new expats out there and maybe even give us veteran expats a little reminder!

1. Try anything and everything that sounds interesting to you

Always wanted to try pottery? Interested in trying out for a sports team? Want to join a bookclub? Go for it! Now is the time to try new things and really, what do you have to lose? Some things will turn out horrible (trust me I have been there) but you never know when you will meet your new best friend or discover a hobby that you are passionate about. Your in a new country so why not try as many new things as possible!

2. Feeling homesick is okay

Unless you are one of the lucky ones who never gets homesick, homesickness is bound to hit at some point. Homesickness is a tricky business, one minute you are laughing with your new friends having a great time, the next your sister snapchats you a picture of your dog and your near tears missing home. Feeling homesick is totally normal and is bound to happen no matter how happy you are in your new home. When homesickness hits and you wish you were home just remember why you chose to move abroad and all the positive that comes with your new life. Everyone has their own way of dealing with their feelings of homesickness, find what works for you and those times of when homesickness strikes won’t be as bad.

Puffin TótiPuffin cuddles help with those homesick feelings

3. Take rejection lightly

When you start a new life in a foreign country you have to be prepared for the negative side of things. There will be times when you are turned down for the job you really wanted because you are foreign, others exclude you from their conversation by speaking in a language you don’t understand, someone comments about your strange accent and you just feel like you won’t ever fit in. Don’t let these moments of rejection get to you. Shake it off and move on. You will find your people and where you belong, be patient, keep putting yourself out there, and always smile!

4. Be able to laugh at yourself

Never did I think a simple trip to the bank would embarrass me so or that I would make a complete fool of myself at the post office. But it has happened to me, more than once, and laughing it off was the only thing that kept me from crying. Your new, you don’t understand how things work just yet and you may not understand the language, your going to have those embarrassing moments when you just want to run back home. Don’t let this things get you down on expat life. Laugh about it, know it isn’t the end of the world, and move on.

5. Letting go of relationships back home is okay

While it is tempting to spend your time cooped up in your flat on skype with friends and family back home don’t do it! I know you miss home like crazy and talking with friends and family make the transition of moving abroad a little less difficult. But when you hold on to life back home you take yourself out of what is happening around you.

You moved abroad for an adventure and to meet new people. To do that you need to get out there and mingle with those around you! Don’t worry about those back home. If they are your true friends they will understand you don’t have as much time to talk and will always be there when you need them.

6. Run from the negative people

You can’t avoid it, there are always going to be those negative Nancys running around, but when you are still adjusting to a new country you do not need that in your life. From my experience when you met one negative person they are full of stories of everything that is bad and can go wrong in your new home. This is not helpful at all. Surround yourself with friendly faces full of positive thoughts, you will need them on your speed dial on days when you need a reminder of why you chose to uproot your life.

7. Don’t let doubt hold you back

Only planning on living abroad for a year and then return home? Not wanting to get too attached to anyone or anything so that you won’t want to leave again? Let go of these feelings and see where it takes you! I held myself back for awhile not wanting to let go completely of my old life and all it did was make me unhappy. Letting go and fully embracing life in my new surroundings has made me appreciate and enjoy things so much more, which ultimately makes for a happier life!

Herjólfsdalur,Vestmannaeyjar

8. Be patient!

I wish it was as simple as a snap of the fingers for you to feel comfortable in your new surroundings, this would have saved me a lot of tears! At times I would feel stressed that I wasn’t feeling comfortable in my surroundings yet and worried that something was wrong with me for it taking me a long time to settle in. Finally realizing that I was not like others around me and I needed to adjust on my own time made me feel more at ease in my surroundings. It may have taken me a year but I am finally feeling settled and you will too, just give yourself time.

9. Don’t guilt trip yourself

A topic I have discussed with fellow expats lately is the feeling of guilt for choosing to live away from our families. Some of my friends (myself included) sometimes feel guilty for moving away from our families to a far off country. When you feel like your missing out on important moments back home you tend to question your decision of moving away from them. And when your sister calls you crying and your not there to comfort her, it can be a tough thing to not feel guilty for leaving. Even though it is a tough emotion to deal with remember that living out your dreams is just as important, don’t forget to take care of yourself.

10. Explore as much as possible!

You spent months planning your move abroad and now you are finally in your new home. Don’t waste away your time sticking to the same daily routine. Get out and explore as much as possible! Act like a tourist, visit all the museums and attractions, pretend like your on vacation, explore and gain a new appreciation for your new home.

Last and most important of all, have fun and enjoy this time in your life, you never know where it will take you!

Question of the Day?
What advice would you give a new expat?

November 13, 2014 by
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  • Jamie @ Gunters Abroad

    Awesome tips! I was reading a post back from when I had only been here for 5 months and I was like, wow…I’ve come a loooong way! You have to give yourself time and don’t be hard on yourself! Aren’t things soooo much better now?

    • Yes, things are soo much better now! It is really fun reading back on old posts and seeing how much things have changed and how you have grown as a person!

  • 1 and 10 I definitely relate to most! I definitely think I had an easier time adjusting in Germany because I can speak German. Regardless, thanks for the tips :)

  • Amanda @ Rhyme & Ribbons

    It’s definitely think #5 is important and a lot of people gloss over that one! x

    • I agree! It is a tough one for me but has gotten a bit easier. I never really thought of letting go of relationships back home as something that would be an issue!

  • I can relate to all of these, but especially number 9 and 6! Guilt is a really hard thing to deal with. I usually end up feeling guilty about feeling guilty and then just have to “step out of myself” and just laugh about it..

    • Haha, yes I have so been there, feeling guilty about feeling guilty! And I think taking the negative people out of your life is really so important as well!

  • Sophie

    This is such good and honest advice. Number 9 is something I still really struggle with at times, as well as number 5. It’s hard to find the balance between keeping in touch but also letting go.

    • It really is such a difficult thing finding the balance between your new life and old life. I am still working on it!

  • Great post! So true as well! I mean I’m still early in my expat career, having been back in Scotland for just about 6-7 weeks, but there are still some of those that I wish I’d known and others I’m trying to apply right away. Good way to keep it positive in the tough first months! Thank you!

  • These are all terrific tips! You could even almost sum it up briefly- embrace your new life, focusing on the positive things! This post came on a perfect day for me as I’m feeling slightly homesick. Looks like a trip shopping is in order!

    • I like your thinking, it really is about embracing your new life and focusing on the positive things! Hope a shopping trip happened to fight off those darn homesick feelings:)

  • Sammy @ Days Like This

    These are all great tips! The ‘be patient’ one is so important. I think you definitely need to go easy on yourself. You can’t know it all, it’s all a learning curve! x

    • Yes def, I was too hard on myself at first thinking I should be adjusting quicker. Taking your time is what it is all about!

  • yes to all of these. especially #9, which i reckon is the hardest part about being an expat!

    • At times it really is the hardest part of being an expat! Thank goodness for all this technology we have to keep in touch with those back home!

  • Yes to all of them. I especially agree with the first one. I feel like I’m learning that all over again at the moment. It really does take an effort sometimes, but it is well worth it. The amazing thing is (and I think you touch on it) that when you’re in a new country there is a part of you that is better at not caring if others are interested.

    • Sometimes it feels exhausting having to put in so much effort but it really does pay off in the end. I can only imagine how much trickier it is for you now that you have a little one to take care of as well. And yes, I am getting to that point now where I just don’t care as much what others think and am focused on just doing my own thing!

  • These are such great tips! My advice to any expat would be to really make an effort to be a part of your new culture and community, it makes for a much fuller experience :)

  • Lizzy

    These were great tips and really reassuring for me as i’m about to move to Australia which is slightly nervewrecking/exciting!

    Lizzy at Nomad Notebook

  • TheAdventuresofBugandBoo

    GREAT list! I definitely support all of these - especially 8, 9, and 10 - having moved to the UK years ago (and now since back). A practical piece from myself would be, learn the transport system early on, as I felt once I knew how to get where I was going I felt so much more comfortable in a new place! :)

    • Very true, once you know how to get yourself places you feel so much more independent in your new city! I am still working on figuring out how to get places but it is getting better!

  • These are fantastic tips - perfect for any kind of expat - even as a ‘pull-your-boots-up’ old grizzly ones like me!

  • Kate Jordan

    I agree with all of these but particularly the first about trying anything and everything. Truer words were never spoken!

    • It really is so true right. I think this is the first thing I tell those new to Iceland, just try everything!

  • AmyMacWorld

    Thanks so much for the tips! I agree so much with them all. #3 is so hard-rejection is NEVER easy but somehow it feels intensified when you are abroad! Our landlord is suddenly trying to jack our rent because we are “foreign” and supposedly he needs “insurance” for this. It’s totally not true and he’s trying to take advantage of us, but it’s so difficult with the language/culture barrier. I know we aren’t from here but come on, don’t we look trustworthy?? :)
    Also, #5 is a tough one. I sometimes want to talk to my mom or sister every day, but I try to limit it to just once a week so I don’t spend all my time here on Skype!
    You’re just so full of wisdom :) I’m glad to read about #8 too. It seems like you have it all figured out and that you are so happy in Iceland-obviously I just read your blog which isn’t the full story, but it’s also nice to know that you didn’t arrive and instantly feel that way! I still don’t always feel as “at home” as I think I should since we’ve been here for 3 months already, but really, I lived in the US for most of my life, three months really isn’t that long!
    Thanks for this post! It really helped me after a rough week to know that I still need to give myself time to adjust :) xo (and sorry for the long-ass comment!!! I just had so much to say about this one ha).

    • Ahh thanks so much Amy (for the long-ass comment:) I loved reading this! I really am far from having it figured out and have spent many days in tears over all of these points. I think knowing that it takes a long time to adjust is the most important, at least it was for me since I felt like I didn’t belong since it was taking me so long to adjust. And ugh, your landlord sounds like several my friends here have met and that is just plain rude! I am lucky that I have a native with me, it really is a shame when foreigners are treated differently! Hope this week is much better for you!!!

  • This is a great list! I’ll have to keep this in mind when I make my next big move!

  • Beth

    These are all great tips! I think learning the native language of where you’re at will help with your enjoyment of it, too. And make you seem like less of an outsider to others!

    • It really does, if only it was easy for me to pick up Icelandic than a lot of my problems would be solved!

      • Beth

        LOL! I assume it’s a difficult language. I’ve never heard it spoken, to my knowledge, but I assume it’s Scandanavian in root. At least your beau is a translator for you! :)

  • Hannah Webb

    I just came across your blog and this is the first thing I see, you have no idea what perfect timing it was!! I just moved to Berlin from Australia 2 months ago and have recently reached the point where the novelty has worn off slightly and we’re coming to terms with the fact we live here now. I love being an expat but its a tricky transition at times. This post was exactly what I needed, thank you!

    • I so not what point in expat life you are talking about! The transition really is tricky at times, I am finding myself in a tricky spot as well not reaching my one year mark. So glad you found my blog and where able to relate to this post! All of these things are all from what I have experienced, and still experience! Expat life is so tricky but so worth it!

  • Oh the guilt tripping is so hard! When J and I told our parents we would be staying here another year they weren’t so thrilled.

    • That is really difficult. I am lucky to not have to deal with guilt tripping too much from others beside myself, it sure can be tough though when I talk to my family and they are asking when I will be back home.

  • excellent list! being an expat is tricky business…my favorite is the starting a new chapter, so be fearless and its a good opportunity to curate a good group of friends, those negative nancys aren’t welcome ;)

    • The new start is really a fun and scary time! You never know where it will lead you or who you will meet but it is all part of the fun :)

  • Yalanda_Meshell

    I love these tips! My husband felt so guilty when we decided to move abroad. He kept saying he felt like he was letting his parents and family down! I kept telling him he couldn’t look at it like that. I said, we have jobs, we are supporting ourselves and we are happy (not to mention we are fulfilling a dream all the while). What parent would ever say those things made them disappointed?

    • Exactly! I am lucky that my parents support me 100 percent and basically where the main reasons behind my final decision. It can be so tough though but remembering that you are living out your dream and taking care of yourself if just as important!

  • Kerri

    For me. I’d say: Stand your ground. Stand up for the person you are and don’t change because no one is happy being someone they are not. Sometimes there are culture clashes and you just have to ride them out. Some people won’t like you because you are foreign and different. But different doesn’t mean wrong. Different is different and sometimes different is exciting.

    Be the person you were at home. They’ll learn to love you or at least you always get to ride the bus without sharing your seat :)

  • Holly Hollyson

    Number 2 is super important!! I remember feeling that I was the only person in the world who felt homesick and that it would last forever. Of course, I wasn’t and it doesn’t.

    • Same here! At first it seemed that everyone I was meeting was having no problem being away from home and I felt like I was doomed since I was homesick. We all experience it at different times but thank goodness it doesn’t last forever!

  • Rachael

    What an AMAZING post!!!! I love this and you totally hit the nail on the head. My favorite tips you said were getting used to rejection and also trying new things. This expat life… it’s a crazy one but I love it!

    • It really is a crazy one! The rejection part is rough to get used to but when you just learn to not let those times get you down there is no holding back from trying as many new things as possible!

  • Brianna DePauw

    Greaaaattt Post!! Thanks for sharing! PS. I nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award on my blog! :)

  • Casey C

    Couldn’t have said it all better myself!! Each point is super important to surviving expatdom. Kudos, girl!

  • You’re so right, you definitely have to be able to just laugh at yourself when you can’t figure out how to do what ought to be simple things-in weird ways, moving to a new country is like starting all over in life, definitely a great opportunity for funny stories down the road!

    • It really is like starting life all over again and at times it can make you feel like a little child again! Laughing is key, when I don’t laugh something off that is when expat life gets me down. My parents were right, laughter is the best medicine :)

  • Laila

    Thanks for pointing out some important things! Even though you easily feel homesick I think it’s important to think about what you really want. When I lived in another country for the first time I sometimes wondered what I missed out of at home. After 5 years I moved back home and realised it wasn’t that much better. Okay, I lived closer to some of my friends, but living there wasn’t what I wanted, so I started to plan my second escape;) Now I live abroad again and I think that’s the best decision I could have made!
    travelnotesbyher.wordpress.com

    • This is such a true point! I think we tend to want what we don’t have but then when we are back home we spend all our time dreaming of our next adventure, at least that is what I do! So glad you are off living abroad again and loving :)

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  • This is the best! The expat life is becoming real for me - we are about to lock in an apartment in Munich. While we’re moving in about 5 months (start of May) it seems like it’s going to come that much quicker now that it’s ‘real’! Such great tips, thank you so much! BOOKMARKING! x

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  • Jenna @ Daydream Adventurer

    I need this article today. I have recently moved from Australia to NZ and whilst its not a giant move to the other side of the world, its still hard. Im feeling homesick and to be honest a little bit lost. This post has given me some tips to use. I need to be positive!

    • So glad this post helped you! Feeling homesick is so tough, like really just the hardest thing for me! But getting out there and staying busy really helps I promise!