When I first moved to Iceland I spent hours searching the internet for tips on adjusting to expat life, how to make friends as an adult, and how in the world to deal with homesickness. It was in these online searches that I discovered the wonderful world of expat blogs, many of which I still enjoy today and inspired me to start my own blog. Funny how things work out:)
I will never forget all the blogs I read those first few months that I quickly connected to and made me feel like I wasn’t alone in my expat life. It made me feel like the things I was going through was totally normal, and reading about their stories gave me hope that the challenging times would get easier.
When I first started blogging I wanted to create a place that other expats could come to and feel like they belonged, just like I had with the other expat blogs I read. I even wrote a post with tips for new expats in my early months of blogging. After receiving dozens of messages these past few months full of the questions about my best advice for expat life I want to bring that old post back to life (especially since no one was really reading my blog when I wrote it:) with updated tips on what I have learned these past two years.
These ten tips are all things I have tried or experienced during my two years as an expat, many of which I wished I would have known before I moved to Iceland. I hope they will help all you new expats out there and maybe even give us veteran expats a little reminder of things we have forgotten about!
1. Try anything and everything that sounds interesting to you
Always wanted to try pottery? Interested in trying out for a sports team? Want to join a bookclub? Curious about that weekly pub quiz and want to join a team for the night? Get out there and give it all a try. You are in a new country so why not try as many new things as possible!
I won’t lie to you, some of these experiences will turn out horrible. I have a long list of stories about events I attended that didn’t go so well (I am talking about you volleyball team that threw a ball at my head!). Just like after a bad date, brush it off and keep putting yourself out there, you never know when you will meet your new best friend or discover a hobby that you are passionate about.
2. Feeling homesick is okay
Unless you are one of the lucky ones who never gets homesick, homesickness is bound to hit at some point. Even after over two years of living abroad I still find homesickness a tricky business. One minute you are laughing with your new friends having a great time, the next your sister snapchats you a picture of your dog and your near tears missing home. You just never know when homesickness will strike.
For awhile I used to think that something was wrong with me when I was feeling homesick. I was comparing myself to other expats around me who seemed to be having no problem adjusting to life in Iceland and never were homesick. This made me think that maybe I would never fit in in Iceland.
You guys, don’t do what I did. Comparing yourself to others is not the way to go. We all have feelings of homesickness at some point, just remember that we all handle it differently. The most important thing to always remember about homesickness…
Feeling homesick is totally normal and is bound to happen no matter how happy you are in your new home.
When homesickness does strike take some time to be a bit sad, then get out there and do something that always cheers you up. For me a call back home followed by getting out and exploring my new home always does the trick.
3. Take rejection lightly
There will be times when you are turned down for the job you really wanted because you aren’t fluent in the native language, you will feel exclude from conversations when you can’t follow along, and when you do start speaking the native language there will be those people who will comment about your strange accent and you will feel like you will never fit in.
Don’t let these moments of rejection get to you.
Shake it off and move on. And always remember, you are on an amazing adventure living outside of your comfort zone, so be patient, keep putting yourself out there, and always smile!
4. Be able to laugh at yourself
When you move abroad and are living in a different culture than you grew up with you are bound to make a fool of yourself once or twice. For me I tend to be pretty good about embarrassing myself when it comes to my Icelandic skills. I truly think that the only way I have made it through those many uncomfortable and embarrassing situations without crying was due to one thing.
Being able to laugh it off.
Those embarrassing moments when you just want to run back home, they happen to all of us. Don’t let this things get you down on expat life. Laugh about it, know it isn’t the end of the world, and move on.
5. Letting go of relationships back home is okay
While it is tempting to spend your time cooped up in your flat on Skype with friends and family back home don’t do it. You moved abroad for an adventure and to meet new people. To do that you need to get out there and mingle with those around you!
You will miss home like crazy and talking with friends and family make the transition of moving abroad a little less difficult, I totally understand this. But when you hold on to life back home you take yourself out of what is happening around you, which will just make you feel more lonely.
This one took me awhile to be okay with.
I struggled with finding a balance between keeping up my relationships with my loved ones back home and making new ones in Iceland. The hard truth I learned, your true friends will stick around and encourage you to get out and explore, they will always be there when you need them, and the others who don’t stick around, well it probably was all for the best.
6. Run from the negative people
You can’t avoid it, there are always going to be those negative Nancy’s running around, but when you are still adjusting to a new country you do not need that in your life. From my experience when you met just one negative person they will be full of stories of everything that is bad and can go wrong in your new home.
This is not helpful at all!
Adjusting to life in a new place that is outside of your comfort zone is difficult enough, you don’t need a negative person around bringing you down. Surround yourself with friendly faces full of positive thoughts, you will need them on your speed dial on days when you need a reminder of why you chose to uproot your life and move across the World!
7. Don’t let doubt hold you back
Only planning on living abroad for a year and then return home? Not wanting to get too attached to anyone or anything so that you won’t want to leave again?
Let go of these feelings and see where it takes you!
When I first moved to Iceland it took me over two months before I opened a bank account. In my mind I felt like if I started things in Iceland like opening a bank account, investing time in creating new friendships or getting a permanent job then I would be completely giving up my old life (which was the point of moving abroad I know) but for some reason it really scared me.
Well you know what, all this holding back and not allowing myself to settle in, it jut made me unhappy. When I finally started fully embracing life in Iceland it made me feel more at home and comfortable in my surroundings, which ultimately makes for a happier life!
8. Be patient!
I wish it was as simple as a snap of the fingers for you to feel comfortable in your new surroundings, this would have saved me a lot of tears! There were so many times I would feel stressed that I wasn’t feeling comfortable in my surroundings yet and worried that something was wrong with me for taking a long time to settle in. Realizing that I was not like others around me and I needed to adjust on my own time made me feel more at ease in my surroundings. It may have taken me longer than I wanted but those feelings of feeling settled finally came, and they will for you too, just give yourself time.
9. Don’t guilt trip yourself
A topic I have often discussed with fellow expats is the feeling of guilt for choosing to live away from our families. Some of my friends (myself included) sometimes feel guilty for moving away from our families to a far off country. For example, when you are missing out on important moments back home you tend to question your decision of moving away from them. And when your sister calls you crying and your not there to comfort her, it can be a tough thing to not feel guilty for leaving. Even though it is a tough emotion to deal with remember that living out your dreams is just as important, don’t forget to take care of yourself.
10. Explore as much as possible!
You spent months planning your move abroad and now you are finally in your new home. Don’t waste away your time sticking to the same daily routine. Get out and explore as much as possible! Act like a tourist, visit all the museums and attractions, pretend like you are on vacation, explore and gain a new appreciation for your new home. Expat life is all about adventure so get out there and start yours!
Last and most important of all, have fun and enjoy this time in your life, you never know where it will take you!
Question of the Day?
What advice would you give a new, or seasoned, expat?
